Having an opinion is easy.
Explaining it without making someone else feel attacked can be harder.
Especially online.
A short sentence can sound much harsher on a screen than it would in person.
That doesn't mean you should avoid having strong opinions.
It means the way you communicate them matters.
Start with your perspective
Instead of presenting your opinion as an unquestionable fact, make it clear that it is your perspective.
Compare:
“This is the only sensible choice.”
with:
"I would choose this because..."
The second version leaves room for another person to think differently.
Explain why
An opinion becomes more useful when people understand the reasoning behind it.
Instead of
"I don't like it."
Try
"I don't think it works well for me because..."
Now there is something to discuss.
Someone can agree with your reasoning.
Challenge it.
Or offer another perspective.
Avoid personal attacks
You can disagree with an idea without attacking the person who shared it.
Discuss:
the idea
the experience
the reasoning
the evidence
Avoid attacking:
intelligence
character
appearance
identity
The goal is conversation, not humiliation.
Use questions when appropriate
If you disagree with someone, a question can be more productive than an immediate counterargument.
Try:
“What made you think that?”
“How did you come to that conclusion?”
"Would your answer change if...?"
Questions can turn disagreement into exploration.
Don't exaggerate
Words such as:
“always”
“never”
“everyone”
"nobody"
can make an opinion sound more aggressive than intended.
Be specific.
Say what you actually mean.
Remember that tone is difficult online
People can't hear your voice.
They can't see your expression.
They don't know whether you're joking.
That's why a sentence that sounds harmless in your head can be interpreted differently by someone reading it.
Before posting, read it once as if someone else wrote it.
Strong opinions can still be respectful
Respect doesn't mean making your opinion weak.
You can say
"I strongly disagree."
You can explain why.
You can defend your position.
You can still respect the other person's right to see things differently.
Don't turn every opinion into a debate
Someone sharing an opinion isn't necessarily asking you to convince them.
Sometimes you can simply say:
“Interesting perspective.”
Sometimes you can disagree and move on.
Sometimes you can ask a question.
You don't need to respond to everything.
Give people room to change their minds
Changing your opinion isn't failure.
Sometimes new information changes how we think.
A good conversation should make it possible to reconsider something without feeling embarrassed.
Before posting, ask yourself three questions
Is it clear?
Will people understand what I mean?
Is it respectful?
Am I discussing the idea rather than attacking someone?
Is it useful?
Am I adding something to the conversation?
If the answer is yes to all three, you're probably ready to post.
SsshhhOut and expressing opinions
SsshhhOut is designed around thoughts, opinions, questions and conversations.
You don't need to have the perfect words.
You can start with an idea and see how other people respond.
The goal isn't for everyone to agree.
Different perspectives are part of what makes a community interesting.
Conclusion
A respectful opinion isn't an opinion without conviction.
It's an opinion communicated with enough room for someone else to have their own.
Say what you think.
Explain why.
Listen to another perspective.
And remember that a conversation works both ways.
For more on respectful disagreement, read how to disagree online without starting an argument.
